Published 04/07/2024 by Louise Emma

Am I in Love With a Narcissist? 11 Signs You Are

When we fall in love with a narcissist, it can be an exhausting experience. Narcissists love themselves in excess and with interest. They love others, particularly their partners, only to the extent that doing so makes them feel even better about themselves.

The result can be a relationship in which the narcissist dominates the stage. Their partner's needs and desires fade into the background and begin to be overlooked.

What Is a Narcissist?

A Narcissist is someone whose excessive self-love (vanity) has turned into a morbid obsession. They have a grandiose sense of self-importance with a deeply rooted conviction that they are better than others.

Narcissists need excessive attention and to be constantly admired whilst having no regard for other people's feelings.

Narcissists inflate their accomplishments, exaggerate their talents and abilities, and take credit for the work of others. They have inflated views of their self-worth and feel entitled to resources that others do not.

Narcissists exploit, they're manipulative and use others to satisfy their own needs and wants. They can't relate properly to others because they have no interest in them.

Those familiar with narcissism, recognised as a character disorder involving the excessive worship of an unrealistic and unhealthy self-view, will also be aware of how narcissism is often accompanied by major depression or anxiety, alcohol and/or drug abuse, and other mental health problems.

11 Signs You're in Love With a Narcissist

Warning signs to look for in a true narcissist so you can choose if your relationship is worth saving.

1. You Feel Constantly Criticised and Inadequate

Narcissistic relationships can be very difficult. You may feel frustrated, belittled, or placed at fault daily, left feeling continuously under attack, waded down by unending criticism, and endlessly facing the same criticism repeatedly. This includes careful, constructive criticism followed by being berated for misunderstanding its meaning, which ends in confusion and frustration.

2. Your Needs Are Ignored

One characteristic is the defining self-centred tendency toward putting aside the needs and desires of others to do what the narcissist wants.

3. You're Experiencing Gaslighting

Essentially, gaslighting is a 'pattern of manipulation that leaves the victim questioning and doubting their own memory and perception'. It's a covert form of abuse commonly used by narcissists that aims to undermine an individual's belief in their own reality.

There are various forms of gaslighting manifest in multiple ways:

• Despite several other people recalling it, he'll claim not to remember a specific circumstance or discussion.
• He'll consistently misinterpret the tone and body language of others and then attempt to convince you that he's correct.
• He'll even push you to recount events backwards to ascertain what 'really' transpired.

Narcissistic gaslighting is still more subtle: a chronic lying about minor things, a shading, embellishing, or exaggerating of incidents, or rewriting a narrative so that the partner is left increasingly in doubt about what really happened to whom and when.

4. They Desire Excessive Admiration

Narcissists seek admiration and attention in exaggerated or excessive ways and try to obtain it at any cost; they have an inflated sense of self-importance, self-absorption, and egotism. They use various ways to continuously demonstrate their superiority and importance in the eyes of others.

The specific ways in which they seek and demand excessive admiration can be many and varied, such as constantly seeking praise and reassurance, constant self-promotion and boasting about their achievements, and belittling others to highlight their own impression.

5. You're Constantly Excusing Their Behaviour

They assume that everyone else is as self-centred, manipulative, and cruel as they are. Yet they continue to be supported in these dysfunctional patterns of behaviour by people who claim to know better.

Family, friends, and lovers make excuses for the lies and manipulations employed by the narcissist, not because they like them, but because they are afraid of confrontation. They inadvertently encourage the narcissist's manipulative behaviour by refusing to end the dysfunctional relationship.

6. Your Relationship Is Volatile

If you are involved in a relationship with a narcissist, you are likely experiencing one of the most volatile types of participation in a couple's relationship today. Narcissists are well known for grandiose self-importance, lack of empathy, and lack of reciprocity, needing more admiration, attention, and attractiveness than they give to others.

One of the worst things about being with a narcissist is their exhausting behaviour, which is like being on an emotional rollercoaster. In the early stages of their relationship, narcissists are often attentive partners, lavishing their partners with affection. They are charming and make romantic gestures. But their true self emerges over time, and they become critical, domineering and manipulative.

7. They Are Controlling

Narcissists manipulate those around them, try to control every aspect of their lives and the lives of those around them, and try to induce guilt, fear, and intimidation in their victims to get their way. These people often come across as arrogant know-it-alls, let the people in their lives down, express their dissatisfaction with the world, and ultimately make their victims feel impotent.

Their controlling behaviour can look like that as well, in addition to spying on their partner, micromanaging everything they do, criticising everything they do, trying to control their emotions, tearing them down and making them feel bad about who they are systematically isolating them from their loved ones.

8. They Lack Empathy

Lack of empathy is a defining feature of narcissists, who struggle to recognise or understand other people's feelings and experiences and who may be indifferent to the pain and suffering of those around them. As a result, narcissists could struggle to relate to others in a way that builds positive relationships and interactions.

Studies have found that narcissists are worse than everyone else at identifying emotions in other people and less likely to respond to cues of emotion in people around them. They are also more likely to engage in bullying, cheating, deception, and immoral behaviours and more likely to exploit or use manipulation tactics for personal gain.

9. You're Always Wrong

While living, or even working, with a narcissist, they always know better than you do, and you are always wrong – they often don't identify other opinions and feelings, causing extreme emotional damage to their partners.

10. They Isolate You From Friends and Family

'One of the most common behaviours in an abuse pattern is isolation from friends and family,’ He or she might insist that you cease your association with friends and family and spend every waking minute with them instead.

This makes it that much easier to control their victim, as there is no one else for them to turn to, and the narcissist can more easily gaslight his or her victim, as that victim has no basis to verify what is happening to him or her against any outside world.

11. They Become Abusive

Narcissistic abuse, whether generally or when provoked, can quickly turn into explosive fights. Narcissistic people have an inflated sense of self-importance and a severe lack of empathy. They have a sense of entitlement, expect others to bend to their will, and recognise their superiority.

They will often make threats to isolate their victims, making it more and more difficult for them to escape and to inform friends and family of the duress they experience at the hands of their partner.

Why Do People Fall in Love With Narcissists?

One reason for the appeal of the narcissist is their early allure and seeming confidence; narcissists are highly skilled at 'selling' themselves, and their allure can initially be intoxicating.

Many of these personalities are charming and self-assured so they can be magnetic to others who are less confident and sure of themselves or not as high in their self-esteem.

Another explanation for why people fall in love with narcissists is that they offer an intense experience in their emotional connection. Narcissists are often great at providing excitement and drama in relationships, thereby giving a thrill to those who crave drama and passion.

Nonetheless, these initial feelings can rapidly become entangled in a web of toxic behaviours and cycles of emotional abuse. A sense of entitlement and lack of empathy can lead to emotional and psychological manipulation, as well as a sense of control.

Love Readings

Trusted Psychics has emerged as one of the most popular psychic love reading sites for advice and answers.

Trusted Psychic readers and spiritual healers are informed more widely and deeply in psychology, sociology, and spirituality. Their expert psychics can answer your questions on possible narcissism with your partner, family member, boss or even work colleague.

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FAQs

How Can You Tell If Someone’s a Narcissist?

One of the most apparent signs of narcissism is an excessively self-centred and self-aggrandising attitude.

Narcissists talk about themselves all the time. They talk about their achievements, talents, and abilities. They will tend to deride or dismiss the skills of others to constantly be the centre of attention.

Another is their lack of empathy: a narcissist may be self-centred to the extent of being unbothered by other people's feelings, needs or opinions, being manipulative, exploitative, or incapable of dealing with challenges in a relationally sensible way.

Can a Narcissist Genuinely Love You?

The issue here is highly nuanced and multifaceted, but the answer to your question is ‘yes’. The narcissist might be able to feel love because he can feel very intense affection or attachment to another person. Likewise, the narcissist might be able to express affection toward others, at least at the outset of an association.

Can You Have a Healthy Relationship With a Narcissist?

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is an official mental health diagnosis marked by grandiosity, a need for admiration, a lack of empathy and a sense of entitlement. People with NPD are unable or unwilling to maintain a good relationship because they are unable to prioritise anyone but themselves.

Is It Possible to Love a Narcissist and Be Happy?

Emotionally manipulative, abusive, and extractive, short on skills to offer anything but misery, narcissists are not strong candidates as partners, and possibly you should be asking, should I end my relationship?

They have affairs, lie to us, minimise us, weigh us down in schemes that foil our plans, sully our reputation, and field endless complaints about us as if we were being cross-examined and condemned, albeit with a certain distance due to their affection. They are emotionally, physically, and cognitively distant as they betray us.

Besides being obtuse about the needs of their partner, narcissistic partners have also been shown to be less empathic. Therefore, they are less aware of their partner's needs, less sensitive to their situation, and less inclined to provide support when that is what is needed. Narcissistic partners have also been shown to be dismissive of the need for intimacy, affection, and support.

Contact Trusted Psychics for a genuine love reading, whether you're leaving a toxic relationship or want to learn more about having a narcissist as a partner. You can make a phone call at any time or use the confidential live messenger service.

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