Published 19/04/2023 by Joanne Jones

How to Self Soothe Anxious Attachment?

Anxious attachment is a common condition in which individuals feel a deep fear of abandonment, insecurity, and anxiety.

They might feel overwhelmed by their emotions, leading to low self-esteem, lack of confidence, sadness, and overall poor emotional health.

If you are an anxious person struggling with these feelings, it can be more than challenging to manage your emotions, and you might feel powerless, which is why you need to know the anxious attachment style healing process that works best for you.

There are ways to self-soothe and cope, which can significantly improve one's well-being and lead to healthier relationships. You may find this article interesting if you want to learn more about healing anxious attachment.

What Is Self-Regulation?

Self-regulation controls one's emotions, thoughts, and behavioural patterns in response to internal and external stimuli. People with insecure attachment styles need this.

It is a crucial skill for individuals with anxious attachment because it allows them to manage their reactions effectively and avoid destructive behaviours and emotional outbursts.

Self-regulation involves identifying anxious attachment triggers that may cause distress or anxiety and developing coping mechanisms to soothe oneself healthily. Identifying this skill and how to use it is an integral part of learning how to self soothe anxious attachment issues.

One effective method for learning how to heal anxious attachment is grounding techniques. Grounding techniques involve focusing on sensory experiences in the present moment, such as deep breathing, feeling the ground beneath one's feet or hands, and observing one's surroundings.

These healing anxious attachment techniques can help individuals feel more connected to their physical environment, less overwhelmed by racing thoughts and emotions, and help build more secure relationships.

Securely Attached Reactions

One effective way how to deal with anxious attachment and coping with emotions is through self-soothing. Self-soothing means using strategies to calm and comfort oneself when feeling anxious, stressed, or overwhelmed.

By learning how to self soothe anxious attachment, people can learn effective ways to regulate their emotions and build a sense of security rather than solely rely on their partners for comfort.

For individuals with secure attachment style reactions, self-soothing techniques may involve engaging in hobbies or other activities that promote relaxation and mindfulness. This may include deep breathing, meditation, yoga, listening to calming music, or engaging in a gentle exercise like walking or stretching.

These types of activities can help to quiet the mind and ease feelings of anxiety and stress, so they are great for healing anxious attachment emotions.

Read more on Signs of Secure Attachment in Adults.

Talking

Most people who need to learn how to self soothe anxious attachment emotions find that talking helps. Talking is one of the most effective ways to self-soothe and begin healing anxious attachment.

Expressing your fears and worries to a trusted friend, family member, or an experienced psychic expert can help you release the negative energy you have been holding inside. This interpersonal therapy release can be highly therapeutic and calming, providing you with a sense of relief and reassurance.

When speaking to someone about your feelings, choosing a supportive and understanding person who can provide you with validation and empathy is essential. This individual should also be a good listener, allowing you to speak freely about your feelings without interrupting or judging you, allowing for emotional closeness.

Focusing on your feelings and emotions rather than attempting to rationalise or analyse them is essential during your conversation. You can better understand your thoughts and worries by simply sharing how you feel.

You can also use talking to work through your anxieties and develop new coping strategies for anxious attachment style healing. By discussing your fears with a professional therapist, you can learn valuable techniques for how to self soothe anxious attachment problems, manage your anxiety symptoms, and improve your relationship anxiety.

Writing Feelings

When learning how to deal with anxious attachment experiences, you may find writing down your feelings can be a highly effective anxious attachment style healing technique for self-soothing.

To get started, find a quiet and comfortable space where you feel safe and relaxed. Inhale some deep breaths to calm your nerves and allow yourself to focus on the present moment.

When you're ready, pick up a pen and a notebook and pour your thoughts and emotions onto the page. Writing with as much detail and factual accuracy as possible is essential to make the most out of this exercise.

As you continue to write, tap into the root causes of your feelings. Reflect on the past painful experiences that may have contributed to your patterns of anxiety in relationships. Perhaps explore any childhood traumas or negative, unhealthy relationship dynamics that may have left a lasting impression on you.

By delving deeper into these underlying issues, you can better understand your triggers and work towards healing anxious attachment.

Writing down how you feel in a diary or journal can be a form of self-therapy, allowing you to sense your emotions constructively.

Therapy or Meditation

Anxious attachment is a term used in psychology to describe anxiety, where an individual becomes overly anxious or worried about their attachment relationships.

Common signs of people with attachment insecurity may be experiencing intense anxiety, stress, insecurity in relationships and being attracted to avoidant partners, making it challenging to maintain healthy, loving interpersonal relationships.

There are many methods that individuals can use to ease their feelings, and two of the most effective ways to deal with an anxious attachment style are Therapy and learning how to self-soothe anxious attachment or meditation.

A trained psychic therapist can help individuals explore their emotions and identify the root causes of their anxieties.

By focusing on the underlying fears and triggers that lead to their inconsistent behaviour, individuals can better understand themselves, develop new coping mechanisms and find the anxious attachment style healing best suited for them.

Many professional therapists will tell you the best way about how to deal with anxious attachment issues is to use evidence-based techniques like cognitive-behavioural Therapy (CBT) to help individuals manage their anxiety. CBT is a structured, goal-oriented approach that helps individuals learn how to recognise and change negative thoughts and beliefs.

By reframing their thoughts and ideas, individuals can manage their anxiety more effectively and develop a more positive, self-affirming outlook on life.

Meditation can be a helpful technique for anxiety disorders. Various studies have shown that meditation can help reduce symptoms of anxiety and stress by calming the mind and allowing for a sense of inner peace.

There are various types of meditation that individuals can practice when learning how to self-soothe anxious attachment behaviours, including mindfulness meditation, guided meditation, and yoga. Each technique offers a unique approach to calming the mind, promoting relaxation, and healing anxious attachment.

Individuals may need to experiment with various anxious attachment style healing techniques to see what works best for their needs.

Exercise

If you're trying to learn how to self-soothe anxious attachment behaviours, then you should investigate a new exercise regime. Exercise produces endorphins, which are neurotransmitters that create a feeling of pleasure, confidence, and well-being; creating these feelings is great for healing anxious attachment problems.

An individual can achieve the same result that an anti-anxiety medication may provide while engaging in physical activity.

This activity not only helps to lower cortisol levels, a hormone produced when an individual is experiencing stress, but it also stimulates the production of serotonin. Serotonin is the main chemical that contributes to happiness.

Engaging in physical activity and spending time in nature also helps to keep the mind distracted from negative thoughts and promotes the idea of a positive self-image.

It is important to note that the type of exercise an individual chooses to engage in is less important than the consistency of the activity. Be it running, weightlifting, hiking, or yoga if the activity is consistent; it will help with healing anxious attachment feelings.

Remove Self From Situations

When learning how to heal anxious attachment issues, you need to be able to recognise and understand the situations that trigger anxiety attachment.

This includes anything from social events, romantic relationships, or work environments. If you find that a particular situation or person triggers makes your anxiety worse, it may be helpful to take a step back and remove yourself from the situation.

Removing oneself from triggering situations can help reduce the overwhelming emotions often accompanying these painful feelings.

This can be done by temporarily avoiding social events, taking a break from a romantic relationship, or finding alternative work arrangements.

It is important to note that removing oneself from triggering situations should be done healthily and intentionally. Communicating clearly and honestly with others while maintaining healthy boundaries is essential to healing anxious attachment feelings.

Anxiously Attached Reactions

An anxious attachment style is characterised by a heightened sensitivity to perceived abandonment or rejection, leading to a constant need for reassurance and approval from others.

Negative thinking can manifest in intense fear, including obsessive thoughts, compulsive behaviours, and intense emotional reactions.

Managing this condition requires patience, self-compassion, and learning to self-soothe anxious attachment properly.

By practising anxious attachment style healing, such as mindfulness, challenging negative self-talk, engaging in relaxation techniques, communicating your needs with clarity, and seeking support from others, you can learn how to self-soothe anxious attachment traits and navigate relationships more healthily.

Continuously Thinking About Relationship

It is common to continuously think about your relationship, leading to feelings of distress and overwhelming emotions, but constantly re-playing the same negative thoughts and feelings in your mind will not help, so you need to know how to deal with anxious attachment feelings and find the best anxious attachment style healing technique that works for you.

It's always important to acknowledge your thoughts and feelings without judgment. Suppressing or denying your emotions can make them stronger, so allow yourself to feel whatever comes up without trying to push it away.

Try to engage in activities that help calm your nervous system. Deep breathing exercises, muscle relaxation, or yoga can help slow down your racing thoughts and bring you into the present moment.

Creating a self-care routine prioritising your physical, emotional, and mental well-being can also help manage relationship-related anxiety and heal anxious attachment feelings.

This could include doing simple things like taking a warm bath, walking in nature, journaling, or talking to the supportive team at Trusted Psychics, who help people learn how to self-soothe anxious attachment issues with some excellent daily results. They can be a listening ear or help guide you on how to heal anxious attachment feelings.

Trying to Be Close to Partner

Trying to be close to your partner is characterised by the fear of abandonment and the tendency to seek constant reassurance from a romantic partner.

This often leads to emotional distress, especially when the individual feels their partner is emotionally distant or unavailable. Learning how to self-soothe is essential to help manage these feelings of anxiety and maintain a healthy relationship.

Self-soothing involves developing strategies to regulate emotions and calm oneself during distress.

It is an essential tool to help them feel more secure in their relationships. The following are some ways to help you learn how to self-soothe anxious attachment when trying to be close to a partner:

Blame Game or Guilt

The blame game is when an individual perceives their partner as responsible for their negative emotions.

Such a thought process does not allow for personal responsibility for one's emotions and can lead to a toxic cycle of blame and victimisation.

It is essential to understand that one's partner may not always be the cause of their anxiety, and understanding this can help in reframing thoughts and avoiding the blame game.

Guilt-tripping oneself is also an unhealthy coping mechanism. It involves constantly criticising oneself for perceived flaws or mistakes instead of recognising and addressing them.

Over time, this can create a negative self-image and increase anxiety. Instead, individuals can learn how to self-soothe anxious attachment by practising self-compassion and forgiveness. This includes acknowledging one's positive emotions while validating oneself for taking steps towards improving their mental health.

Anger

Anger is a common emotional response when experiencing intense anxiety during periods of separation from loved ones.

When triggered, people with high anxiety levels may resort to explosive outbursts, desperate pleas for attention, or passive-aggressive behaviour to alleviate their distress.

Managing angry outbursts is an essential part of learning how to deal with anxious attachment-style behaviour.

People can self-regulate their emotions and develop healthier, more fulfilling relationships by recognising their potential triggers and physical signs of anger. Taking time out, challenging negative thinking patterns, practising mindfulness, and seeking professional help can reduce separation anxiety.

Focusing on Threats

Focusing on threats can be an effective way to reduce anxiety and help individuals feel more emotionally stable.

Anxiety arises in response to perceived threats that do not necessarily pose a real danger to the individual. Therefore, addressing the root cause of these anxious thoughts and feelings can help in healing anxious attachment.

Triggers for Someone Anxiously Attached

Common triggers for individuals with an anxious attachment style include rejection, being ignored or neglected, lack of responsiveness from their partner, being criticised or judged, and feeling emotionally disconnected.

Once these triggers have been identified, one can develop a self-soothing plan to recognise and address the root cause of the anxious thoughts and feelings.

Mindfulness activities, like deep breathing, meditation, and grounding, are great anxious attachment style healing techniques for this.

Distant Partner

If you are struggling in a relationship with a distant partner, learning how to self-soothe anxious attachment when feeling overwhelmed can be helpful.

Attachment anxiety is defined as a fear of abandonment or a need for repetitive reassurance from your partner. If your partner is distant or emotionally unavailable, it can trigger feelings of anxiety and panic.

Practising mindfulness can allow you to focus on the present moment without judgment. It can help to tune out anxious thoughts and calm your mind.

Read our guide on Avoidant Attachment Style in Relationships.

Partner Forgetting Key Event

If a partner forgets a key important event or fails to meet their expectations, this can trigger feelings of insecurity and anxiety.

It is normal to feel upset or disappointed when your partner forgets an important date. Expressing your feelings to your partner and communicating your expectations for future events is okay.

However, it is equally important to practice self-care and self-compassion as part of your anxious attachment style healing process, as this will help you regulate your emotions and avoid spiralling into negative thought patterns.

Partner Gets Home Late

It's important to acknowledge that feeling worried in this situation is an entirely normal response. However, it's also important to remind yourself that your partner's late arrival likely has nothing to do with you.

There could be various reasons why they are running behind, and giving them the benefit of the doubt is essential.

If your thoughts are still racing and you're having trouble calming down, distracting yourself with a calming activity can be helpful. This might include reading a book, doing a puzzle, or listening to calming music.

The key is to choose an activity that is soothing to you and allows you to release your anxious thoughts.

Lack of Response

When an anxious individual fails to receive a response from someone they care about, it can trigger intense anxiety and insecurity.

These feelings can be overwhelming and cause the individual to engage in counterproductive behaviours or harm their relationships.

Acknowledging and accepting that the individual's feelings are valid and that feeling anxious about a lack of response from someone they care about is understandable.

The individual can engage in self-care activities that promote relaxation and calmness to begin healing anxious attachment feelings of anxiety.

Partner Unawareness

An anxious attachment style is characterised by the fear of abandonment and a strong need for closeness with one's partner.

This is often fuelled by past experiences of inconsistent or neglectful care from caregivers, leading the person to develop a heightened sensitivity to potential signs of rejection or disconnection in their adult relationships.

By building a secure attachment with a responsive and supportive partner, individuals with an anxious attachment style can learn how to heal anxious attachment feelings past wounds and move towards a more confident and secure sense of self.

Self-Soothing for Anxious Attachment

One of the most effective ways to self-soothe is by practising self-compassion.

This involves being kind and gentle with oneself, especially during difficult moments of intrusive thoughts and unpleasant emotions.

The goal is to achieve a positive inner voice that can offer comfort and encouragement in times of distress and to let go of self-criticism and judgment that can exacerbate anxiety.

Managing Anger

Learning how to self-soothe can be incredibly helpful when managing anger in individuals. Individuals tend to experience heightened emotions, leading to a greater likelihood of experiencing anger or frustration.

It is essential to recognise the early signs of anger, such as tension in the body, racing thoughts, or a feeling of overwhelming frustration.

Once these early signs have been recognised, acting before your pent-up emotions turn to anger and aggression is essential.

One technique for managing anger in individuals is deep breathing. Taking slow and deliberate breaths can help to calm the body and mind, leading to a reduction in anger. Take yourself away from the situation to avoid any temper outbursts.

Another technique for how to deal with anxious attachment feelings such as anger is muscle relaxation. Individuals with anxious attachments can release built-up tension and promote calmness by consciously tensing and then releasing different muscle groups.

Practising Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a widespread practice that has gained traction in the last five years, with more and more individuals recognising its benefits. It involves directing attention to the present moment without judgment, non-reactively, and with curiosity and openness.

Mindfulness practice has been shown to have several positive effects on a person's physical and emotional well-being.

Scientific research has demonstrated that mindfulness helps reduce anxiety, improve mood, and enhance cognitive function. It has also been linked to improved relationships, greater resilience, and reduced symptoms of depression.

Mindfulness has been found to impact physical health and help in healing anxious attachments. Studies suggest it can help lower blood pressure, reduce chronic pain, and boost immune function.

Controlling Negative Thoughts

Controlling negative thoughts can be challenging, but learning to self-soothe anxious attachments will help immensely. With consistent effort, achieving this goal and healing anxious attachment is possible.

The main part of controlling negative thoughts is identifying them. Negative thoughts can manifest in various ways, such as self-criticism, self-doubt, and negative beliefs about oneself.

Once negative thoughts have been identified, it is crucial to challenge them. This can be done by simply questioning the validity of these thoughts and providing evidence that contradicts them.

Therapy or Meditation

Deciding on the best anxious attachment style healing is not easy. Choosing between Therapy or meditation can be a tricky decision to make. Both are popular methods of managing stress and anxiety and have been praised for their ability to promote mental and help your emotional well-being.

Therapy, talk therapy or psychotherapy, is a treatment that mainly involves talking to a therapist or psychic counsellor.

Therapy aims to help people find and address the emotional or psychological problems that are causing them distress.

Therapy sessions can take on different formats, including individual, group, or couples Therapy. They may include a range of techniques, such as cognitive-behavioural Therapy, psychodynamic Therapy, or mindfulness-based Therapy.

Meditation is an exercise that involves training the mind to focus on the present moment, often through guided visualisations, breathing exercises, and deep relaxation, which people say is great for healing anxious attachment feelings.

Research shows that people who do regular meditation can have several benefits, including reduced anxiety and depression symptoms, increased emotional regulation, and improved concentration.

Exercise

Numerous studies have repeatedly demonstrated the positive effects of exercise on stress levels. For example, a study published in Frontiers in Psychology found that walking in nature significantly reduced cortisol levels, a stress-related hormone.

Another study published in the Journal of Sport and Exercise Psychology found that a regular exercise regime was associated with lower levels of perceived stress, improved mood, and better overall well-being.

Exercise offers a valuable and effective solution to the problems caused by stress. By exercising regularly, an individual can improve their physical and mental well-being, leading to a more fulfilling and stress-free life.

Writing

One effective technique for how to self soothe anxious attachment feelings is writing. Writing can be just as powerful as physical exercise, if not more. It is a powerful tool for processing emotions and better understanding one's thoughts and feelings.

By putting their thoughts and emotions onto paper, individuals can gain perspective and clarity, allowing them to identify underlying issues contributing to their anxiety.

Starting an emotions journal can be beneficial. Allowing oneself to express emotions without judgment or criticism is essential.

This can be done through free writing, where individuals write without stopping, editing, or censoring themselves.

By allowing their thoughts and emotions to flow freely, individuals can better understand their inner world and identify patterns, triggers, and coping mechanisms that may be helping or hindering their emotional growth.

Love Readings

According to experts at Trusted Psychics, many people have fears of abandonment and rejection.

People with this anxious disorder tend to have intense emotions and overthink situations in their relationships, leading to significant distress and dysfunction, which is why it is so important to learn how to self-soothe anxious attachment feelings.

People often choose either meditation, speaking to a qualified therapist or even a live psychic reader to help understand how to heal an anxious attachment style relationship and feelings.

It is well known that love readings by experienced love and relationship psychics can help alleviate some of these anxieties by assisting people to gain better emotional self-control.

More and more people contact the Trusted Psychics expert psychic readers to understand the benefits of love readings and how they help individuals gain more control over their emotions and relationships, which is perfect for healing anxious attachment feelings.

Through love and relationship readings, psychics can identify any emotional blocks or negative patterns hindering individuals' ability to form healthy connections with others.

Psychics can provide valuable advice on overcoming challenges in their romantic life or professional life, including finding a compatible partner or improving communication with their current partner or work colleagues.

This spiritual guidance can help people learn how to heal an anxious attachment style. It makes individuals feel more confident and secure in their relationships, leading to greater happiness and fulfilment.

Trusted Psychics understand at any time, day or night, that there can be a need to contact an experienced psychic, who can be an effective tool for learning how to self-soothe anxious attachment feelings and help individuals overcome their fears of rejection and insecurities. Their phone lines are available 24 hours a day with no need to wait long periods for appointments or travel long distances; trained expert psychics are waiting to take your phone call.

FAQs

How Do You Calm Down an Anxious Attachment System?

Anxious attachment style is a common psychological phenomenon characterised by fear, anxiety, and a strong desire for close emotional connections.

This is often associated with insecurity and fear of abandonment and can lead to various negative emotions and behaviours, including jealousy, clinginess, and frustration when one's partner is unavailable.

If you or someone you know struggles to calm down this emotional response, it may be time to learn how to heal anxious attachment feelings.

One of the essential steps is recognising and acknowledging the anxious thoughts and feelings driving the attachment system. This can be done through mindfulness practices, including meditation or deep breathing exercises, which help to increase self-awareness and reduce stress and anxiety.

Another essential strategy is building a support network of trusted friends or family who can provide emotional validation and support during stress and anxiety.

What Triggers an Anxious Attachment?

Ongoing attachment patterns can be triggered by a variety of factors, including early childhood experiences of inconsistent or unpredictable caregiving, parental divorce or abandonment, neglect, or abuse.

Individuals who grow up with little emotional support and security may develop a deep-seated fear of rejection or abandonment, which shapes their attachment style and relationships throughout their lives.

The feelings of abandonment can be triggered by negative life experiences such as break-ups, job loss, or traumatic events.

These triggers can activate unconscious fears of rejection or abandonment, leading to heightened anxiety, clingy behaviour, and distrust in relationships.

How Do You Rewire an Anxious Attachment?

Exploring one's past and experiences that led to various emotional triggers is essential.

This can be done through Therapy, where a qualified counsellor or therapist can help identify the root cause of anxiety and undue attachment.

Once the root cause is identified, creating a positive self-image is essential. This can be achieved by developing self-compassion, self-love, and self-care routines. Recognising the negative beliefs and biases that come with these feelings and replacing them with positive affirmations and cognitive restructuring techniques to form a loving relationship is necessary.

Rewiring an anxious attachment is a complex process that requires self-awareness, positive self-talk, regulating emotions, healthy communication, and a positive outlook.

Individuals can rewire their emotions with time and effort and lead healthy and fulfilling lives.

Contact Trusted Psychics today to move forward on your journey in life.

How Do You Calm an Anxious Attachment?

One effective anxious attachment style healing technique is Therapy, whether it's talking to a professional therapist, a friend or even a live psychic reader.

In professional Therapy, a trained mental health professional helps clients identify their attachment style and address the underlying issues that lead to anxious attachment.

This may involve exploring past experiences and feelings of abandonment, building skills to regulate emotions, and practising healthy communication with romantic partners to help with healing anxious attachment issues.

How Do I Get Rid of an Anxious Attachment Mindset?

An essential step in overcoming an anxious mindset is to learn how to self-soothe anxious attachment feelings.

Practising self-care and self-compassion regularly are a large part of this. Taking up activities that boost physical and emotional positivity, like exercise, meditation, and spending time with supportive friends and family members, can help people reduce stress and anxiety and increase feelings of self-worth.

How Do You Break Up With Anxious Attachment?

Breaking up with someone who has an anxious attachment style can be a challenging and delicate situation. Before attempting to end the relationship, it's essential to understand the characteristics and behaviour of an anxious attachment style.

Individuals with anxious attachment tend to have an excessive need for reassurance and intimacy from their partners. They can be overly clingy, jealous, and hypersensitive, making it hard for their partners to have personal space and freedom.

It is essential to have empathy, compassion, and honesty to break up with an anxious, attachment-style person. It's helpful to understand their feelings and express empathy towards them, but at the same time, be honest and clear about your decision to end the relationship.

How Do You Reassure Anxious Attachment?

One effective approach involves practising mindfulness techniques, which can help you stay present in the moment and cultivate a greater sense of calmness.

Mindfulness techniques include breathing exercises, meditation, and body scans, which can help ground you in your body and feelings.

Another effective strategy is building secure attachments with others, whether through intimate relationships or supportive friendships. Research has shown that healthy social connections can help reduce anxiety and improve mental well-being.

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