Published 18/11/2024 by Olivia Woods

Why Am I So Unlucky in Love?

Some people seem hopelessly unlucky with love, to the point where they almost feel like giving up on finding happiness, but there are reasons for this and ways to overcome the seemingly "unlucky in love" scenario.

Why am I so unlucky in love? There's usually a combination of psychological, social, and behavioural reasons that might have something to do with this.

Research studies suggest that up to one in five adults have chronic difficulty maintaining a loving relationship over the long term. Case study results often show that people with insecure attachment styles, like the avoidant or anxious attachment style of a person, make it harder for them to establish a healthy relationship.

According to a 2019 study, high-anxiety relationships (both partners with insecure attachment styles) have a 30% higher likelihood of relationship failure.

Personality traits such as high neuroticism and borderline personality disorders can also cause a conventional relationship to become unstable, with people who are highly neurotic reporting 50% more relationship dissatisfaction.

Others are media-fuelled fantasies, which affect nearly 60% of those under 30 who feel like romantic relationships aren't living up to their unrealistic expectations, causing many crash-and-burn relationships to form.

Online dating and "swipe culture" can introduce a "swipe-and-go" paradox in which having too many choices decreases satisfaction and the chances of a long-term successful relationship. 70% of online daters mention "decision fatigue." These factors, combined with weak interpersonal skills or unrealistic standards, make finding long-term love difficult.

What Does It Mean to Be "Unlucky in Love"?

"Unlucky in love" is when we've experienced multiple relationship failures, rejections, or a lack of ability to make meaningful connections in romantic relationships, making you feel like one very unlucky person.

Others find the term best described by the feeling of consistently picking the wrong guy for the wrong reasons or ensuring promising relationships fail before they start (consciously or subconsciously).

Research shows that 1 in 5 people report being repeatedly challenged by the same kind of relationship problems, ranging from inconsistent expectations and toxic relationships and abusive relationships to unresolved personal insecurities.

Such "bad luck" in relationships can be driven by subconscious processes – such as always finding the same kind of person or reacting to stress in the relationship in regular, unproductive ways.

The attachment style and communication patterns are thought to be important factors in these cycles, meaning that "unlucky" cycles can stem from behaviour habits, internal emotions, and unresolved personal beliefs rather than being an unlucky person.

Yet, there is a way to get out of this "bad luck" for many; recognising these patterns, shifting the way they treat love and perhaps a small degree of luck is the key to breaking free and having better, happier connections with people.

Read our guide on 11 Signs You’re in Love With a Narcissist.

Common Signs That You Are Unlucky in Love

Signs to show that you're "unlucky in love" manifest as a pattern over time in your romantic life, sometimes quietly and sometimes loud and clear.

The clearest sign is continually falling for the same kind of person who either doesn't feel right for you or fails to provide emotional satisfaction (for example, the girls who keep falling for the bad boys), creating endless relationship breakups.

Trust and vulnerability issues resulting from heartbreaks can create emotional barriers that stop people from embracing one another and keep relationships shallow. If you find yourself in a persistent destructive pattern, it could point to poor attachments, self-confidence, or communication, and these can be overcome to end this pattern of being unlucky in love.

Repeated Relationship Patterns

The most obvious sign that you are unlucky in love is when you repeatedly fall for the wrong person or the wrong type of person for you. Falling into relationships that keep repeating themselves and being drawn to people with sometimes toxic characteristics will make you unlucky in love.

For instance, you may end up dating people incessantly who are emotionally distant, hesitant to commit or already in a relationship. These patterns make you feel like you're caught in a perpetual loop, unable to escape the same relationship losses.

Recognising such patterns is the first step to answering, "Why am I so unlucky in love?" These choices can be recognised and altered to change your luck.

Consistent Miscommunication

If your relationships regularly end in arguments, which often leave you feeling misunderstood, this could be because your communication style or expectations are out of alignment.

Regular miscommunication can create disconnection, destroy trust, and reduce opportunities for intimacy. This often happens when couples find it hard to communicate what they need or what the other wants.

Practising different forms of communication or learning how you and your partner communicate best can go a long way toward ending this pattern.

Frequent Breakups

Intense breakups indicate deeper issues impacting your relationships. If you're bouncing around from one fleeting relationship to the next or spending a couple of nights with a booty call partner here and there, it may mean a recurring cycle in your romantic approach and personality.

These breakups are often caused by unrealistic expectations, relationship conflicts, unclear communication or deeper reasons like childhood trauma, family dysfunction, or not being ready to commit.

Knowing why relationships continue to break down in the same way will help you identify any patterns of challenges that might prevent you from falling in love with someone for good. Being unable to commit to a current partner does not make you a horrible person. However, finding its cause is important to allow you to find a true and beautiful love life in the future.

Read our guide on Best Crystals for a Breakup.

Unfulfilled Expectations

Always feeling disappointed in your relationships because they do not deliver what you desire or need might indicate you are unlucky in love.

In many cases, unrealistic expectations arise when lovers don't share the same long-term vision or when one person puts more into the relationship than the other. It can be frustrating and disheartening to feel like you always get less and less.

Are you choosing someone for shallow reasons or a partner with similar goals who will support and love you? If you are more realistic, you will find a more compatible relationship.

Low Self-Esteem

Self-esteem issues are prevalent among people unlucky in love as they can affect which type of lovers you date and how you view yourself in a relationship. Insecure people might suffer from ill-treatment, settle for less, or struggle when the partner goes to places alone and, therefore, enter unhealthy relationships.

It is important to have faith in yourself and to learn to respect your needs and boundaries, both in your choice of partner and in your relationship with them.

Isolation

If you're isolated despite your relationship, it's usually a sign of a bigger problem. If you are emotionally distant from your partner even though you're physically in the same room, you may lack emotional support.

Feeling alone in a relationship makes people feel unlucky in love because it prevents genuine intimacy and closeness. Becoming transparent about your emotions and finding people who actively encourage closeness can help halt this loneliness.

Negative Self-Talk

People who are unlucky in love tend to have low self-confidence and think bad things about themselves, that they don't deserve a good relationship or will always be on their own. This attitude can also become a self-fulfilling prophecy, leading people to accept less than they deserve or destroy otherwise good relationships.

Acknowledging and reframing these inner voices in positive and hopeful terms will shift how you view and feel love.

Fear of Rejection

If you fear rejection, you can behave in ways that are very bad for relationships. This fear can prevent a person from truly being open, deter potential partners before they can injure them, or even steer someone away from dating altogether.

The fear of rejection can make genuine, long-term relationships difficult for many reasons. Accomplishing and working through this fear can help a brave strength and readiness for new love and successful relationships.

Overanalysing

Insisting on fixing everything in a relationship can result in anxiety, doubt, and insecurity.

Over-thinkers and worriers can repeatedly criticise their partner's behaviour, question whether the relationship is healthy, or focus too much on insignificant details, leading to bad relationships. This tendency can come from past relationships that have not been successful, and it is often accompanied by overly anxious behaviour that can disrupt the relationship flow.

Trusting yourself and your partner can diminish this impulse and strengthen your relationship.

Unrealistic Standards

It's also part of being unlucky in love when you set naive expectations for your partner or relationship that result in disappointment.

Unrealistic expectations can include unrealistic goals, needs, wants, or conditions no partner will likely meet. This is widely due to the media but could be a better baseline for any relationship.

Think about whether your criteria for the ideal partner are healthy or unrealistic. Realistic expectations and trying to find someone more in tune with your true self and your purpose in life will lead to an authentic relationship.

Love Readings

"Why am I so unlucky in love?" If this question has plagued your mind and you are almost at the point of giving up on love, don't lose hope just yet! Call a live psychic reader for a full emotional and spiritual perspective of your relationships.

You may think you are unlucky in love, but usually, there are reasons behind the seemingly unlucky streak. Love readings with Trusted Psychics are performed by specialist love psychics who can help.

A love and relationship psychic can detect the vibrations and unseen energies surrounding you, your partner, and your relationships. A live psychic reader can view more than the eye can see and more than the average person can sense.

Do you keep falling for bad partners? Do your relationships all have the same bad patterns of behaviour? A psychic reader can help you uncover and overcome these cycles to create realistic and happy relationships.

Millions of people worldwide call for the help of psychic readers to help improve their love lives and relationships. All it takes is a combination of luck, psychic insights and uncovering information that may be unclear to you.

Call a live psychic reader today, or you can chat online using the popular Live Messenger Web chat. Choose your ideal psychic and set your love journey on the path to success.

FAQs: Why am I Unlucky in Love?

Why Am I Always Unlucky in Love?

Being unlucky in love can result from subconscious behaviour patterns, life experiences, previous relationships, unrealistic expectations, and self-suggested norms that shape how you approach relationships.

Many of us fall prey to the same sort of people who might not share our needs, beliefs or future goals and find ourselves in a pattern of failed relationships.

Unresolved emotional issues or low self-esteem greatly hinder long-term relationships, making each breakup feel like "bad luck". It's helpful to look back to your relationships in the past and recognise what patterns are repeated to break this cycle.

However, learning to be more self-aware, communicate better, and set realistic expectations can transform the relationship and give a new perspective to matching.

Which Zodiac Is Unlucky in Love?

Astrologer fans believe some zodiac signs are more likely to have love challenges than others due to their character traits and compatibility patterns.

Virgo, for instance, is sometimes referred to as "unlucky in love" due to being high-standard and critical and finding it difficult to settle down.

Aquarius is a detached and independent individual who can have problems with a partner because they values her autonomy and misunderstand a partner seeking closeness.

Cancer, while unconditionally loyal and affectionate, can have difficulties due to emotional demands and vulnerability that can alienate partners if they can't reciprocate in the same way.

Aquarius is the zodiac sign most unlucky in love because partners can often feel alone while with their partner, and the relationship can become distant and emotionless.

Why Are People With a Good Heart Unlucky in Love?

Good hearts are considered unlucky in love because they tend to be selfless, putting the interests of their partners above their own. Such empathy is applaudable but also leaves them vulnerable to being taken for granted or trapped in unbalanced attachments. Their generosity could also attract those who exploit it, leaving them feeling unwelcome or exhausted.

What Does “Unlucky in Love” Mean?

"Unlucky in love" describes the feeling of being repeatedly disappointed, failed, let down, unsatisfied or dumped by someone while still trying to connect with them.

People who think that they're unlucky in love tend to believe that their relationship problems are not caused by them but rather by external reasons.

Contact Trusted Psychics and discover how to turn your love life around today. The UK’s top online psychics are waiting for your call, so don’t delay.

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